my personal God

I’ve been angry this week.

I’ve been pouting this week.

I’ve been moping in my own pity party this week.

I’ve been avoiding God this week.

I’ve been petty this week.

I’ve been crying this week.

This week a heavy hurt reared its painful head. The hurt consumed me, my thoughts, and my emotions. I’ve been shaking my fist, shouting

IT’S NOT FAIR!

I DESERVE . . . !

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Today, I dragged myself from bed to force myself into a time with God, knowing what awaited me. I cried, I confessed, I begged, but I walked away empty still, no peace filling my soul, just anger and resentment simmering. But my God, yes MY GOD, is faithful. He met me today when I least expected it, while I was wiping away tears and trying to put on my makeup, He spoke to me and calmed me deep, deep, deep down in my soul. Gently I could hear him saying, “Oh my child, do you not trust Me? Do you not believe Me? Let me heal your hurt.”

I’ve been purposely vague, it’s just to personal to share the details. But my God reached down to me to do in a very personal way, and I wanted somebody to know about it.

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One thought on “my personal God

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Kelly. it’s so, so hard to force that time w/ God when we’re mad at him or when He seems so far away. It sure would be easier if we could meet with him face to face sometime for a cup of coffee.

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