a look at the future

Today I watched a new father with his new son, and while admiring them, suddenly I had a picture of my oldest son as man and holding a his son.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  Although Jacob is only in second grade, I had a deep sense of time passing, of high school graduation, of going away to college, of marrying someone’s daughter.

I’ve always smiled at the woman who gently (or some not so gently) reminds me to treasure each moment before they pass, but during these last few weeks many times I’ve sensed that my little ones are growing tall too quickly.

Through these sentimental moments I’ve developed a new sense of urgency and a fresh motivation to nurture my sons each day.  I want to cuddle them up, before they are too big too cuddle.  I want to sit and listen to their silly stories and songs. I want to walk with them around the pond.

I want to push the future away for just a little bit longer.

Jehova Rapha: The LORD Heals

Jonathan is cancer free. The final pathology reports came today, and the early reports were wrong.

Jeremiah 32:27 I am the Lord, the God of all flesh, is anything to difficult for me?

a definition of Christian Hedonism

I’ve been oh so slowly working my way through John Piper’s book Desiring God, Meditations of a Chrisitan Hedonist. This book requires me to linger and read paragraphs over and over again, summarizing his eloquent words so they fit in my tired brain. I’ve been wanting to share some of these things written in his book with you, but I sit and look and a computer screen, waiting for the words to come. And the words haven’t come yet. So, straight from the introduction of the book, here is a definition of what Piper calls the Christian Hedonist.

Christian Hedonism is philosphy of life built on the following five convictions:

1. The longing to be happy is a universal human experience, and it is good, not sinful.
2. We should never try to deny or resist our longing to be happy, as though it were a bad impulse. Instead, we should seek to intensify this longing and nourish it with whatever will provide the deepest and most enduring satisfaction.
   
3. The deepest and most enduring happiness if found only in God. Not from God, but in God.
4. The happiness we find in God reaches its consummation when it is shared with others in the manifold ways of love.
5. To the extent that we try to abandon the pursuit of our own pleasure, we fail to honor God and love people. Or, to put it positively: The pursuit of pleasure is necessary part of all worship and virtue. That is:

The chief end of man is to glorify God

by

enjoying Him forever.

 

So what are your thoughts? Are you interested in reading more about Christian Hedonism?

I like

dark chocolate peanut m&m’s

snuggling under the covers with Jonah

diet pepsi

reading with Jacob

cinnamon coffee-black

being hugged by Jesse

most music

reading the newspaper

cheese

sitting on the porch swing

books

riding in a boat

close friends

being with my hubby

God

chasing lightening bugs

peanut butter

laughing so hard it makes me pee

and she will be like a tree

In my last post, I asked you to remember the Slavens family during Jonathan’s (the husband) surgery.

Here’s in update, in Martha’s (the wife) words:

Thank you so much for your continued prayers. We praise the Lord that the doctors were able to remove all of the tumors in Jonathan’s stomach and most of the tumor in his neck after 12 hours of surgery. The cancer was much more wide spread in his stomach than the CT scan showed so it was a bit of a surprise to all of us. The tumor in his neck was not completely removed due to possible damage to important nerves. We were praying that the residual tumors were only scar tissue, but God has a different story for us to tell. The tumor in his neck came back positive with cancer still growing. The down side is that we will be going through more chemo in the months to come, but I am so excited to see what God is going to do through us.

Whenever I start to get a little down about what we still have to overcome I am reminded of many verses to help keep my focus on Christ. Right now my brain is so fuzzy that there is not much of anything left except a silent plea for sleep. My desire is not to leave you with a message of hopelessness, but of great peace and abundant hope. I just wish my brain were in gear enough to remember those verses. The long hours are really starting to catch up with me. I leave you knowing that my God will sustain us with His presence and no mountain is too big for Him to move – however he sees fit to move it!

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is she who trust in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. For she will be like a tree firmly planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.

Israel is a dry country. The picture Jeremiah paints here is not of a lush, green land near a gentle stream with a beautiful vibrant tree. It is a picture of a dry creek bed where the actual creek is running below the surface. For a tree to survive and flourish here requires deep, deep roots. This tree doesn’t fear the heat or the drought; it has a sufficient water source. In times of stress, the tree remains green with life and yields fruit.

Our sweet Martha is such a strong tree. She’s rooted deep to the living water that is our Christ. I have seen her grow and give glory to God, time and time again. Does it mean she doesn’t have moments of fear, worry, or doubt? Absolutely not! But time and time again she has turned her eyes back to Christ and drawn from Him.

Please continue to pray for this family. The road ahead is long and hard.

please pray for this family

A young family in my church is battling cancer, with the husband undergoing a major 10-12 hour surgery today.  I pray, as well as many, many others that this is the end of the fight for Jonathan and he is declared cancer free.

Jonathon and Martha have three children 5 and under.   Pray for Martha  while she is the care taker for her husband and children.

You can read more about this family at the slavens link to the right.

Thank you for taking a few seconds out of your busy day to offer a short prayer to our mighty, powerful God.

my gold nuggets

Recently I read this line in the preface of a John Piper book: . . . I learned how to dig for gold rather than rake for leaves when I take up the Scriptures.

For the most part of my life, I’ve been raking leaves. I’ve been collecting leaves, jumping in them, burying myself in them, and maybe if I just dare to admit it, burning leaves.

But then last year, I was involved in a few things that changed my perspective on studying God’s Word. First, I started studying Joshua at an informal Bible study. It was during this study that I learned to slow down. I’m always in such a hurry, feeling as if I have wasted so much time in my walk with my God. I learned to read, then read again, then read it over and over again.  I started feverishly writing in my Bible and putting questions in a journal.  Then last spring I took a hermeneutics class. Instead of focusing on the Bible as a self help book to fix all my problems, I began looking at the repeating themes that God reveals through his Word. I learned of the importance in understanding the language, culture, context, etc. When I do the work myself, the Bible comes alive to me in ways I never knew it would.  I started digging for gold.

Now what do I do with all the nuggets I’ve been diggin’ up.   I don’t meditate. I don’t ponder. I dig and dig and dig.  I look at what I’ve worked out, sometimes have a eureka moment, but move on to the next eureka moment. But without the meditating, the pondering, the chewing, how do I apply it in my life?

Any ideas out there? How do you ponder? How do you meditate? How do you apply the truths? I feel as though I’m carrying around a backpack full of gold nuggets, and it is starting to weigh me down.

of my grandfather

Today my 87 year old grandfather came to stay through the weekend.  I am delighted that he is here, and I hope to make in him feel welcome.

But I am also anxious about his stay.   He requires some “assisted living” such as setting out his pills, fixing his meals, or helping him on the stairs.  He doesn’t see or hear well, and he sleeps most of the day.   Doesn’t sound like I have a difficult job of taking care of him, does it?

But what if I have him do something he doesn’t want to do?

What if he doesn’t want to take his pills?

What if he doesn’t want to eat?

What if, what if, what if?

How do I treat him with dignity and respect when he may not want to do what is in his best interest?  How does one decide what is the in the best interest of a 87 year old man?  When do I gently insist on something?  When do I back off?

I probably don’t have to be concerned with any of these things.  This weekend will just fly by as they all do, and then he’ll be going back to my parent’s house.   But ever since I agreed to care for him, I’ve been mulling over these things.

More importantly, while he is here  I want him to watch the boys play and walk with us on the drive.  I want him to tell stories of his childhood in Arkansas.

I want him to know he is valuable to us.

a snake in my yard

I had planned to share my garden with you today. I have a growing passion for gardening and I especially enjoy filling all the planters on my deck. So on one of these last, beautiful afternoons before the frost makes its mark on my deck, I wanted to take a few pictures.

However, before I snapped too many, I was interrupted by my golden retriever Sam barking. Just like I recognize the many cries of my children, I knew Sam had found a snake. He’s found snakes before and proves to be a reliable alarm. And, with 40 acres surrounding us, we are used to finding them near the house.

Since the boys are with me, I head over to Sam to keep the boys from getting too close until I determine how big it is, if it is harmless, etc. This snake appears to be harmless enough, and we watch it slither about in the grass . . . UNTIL it heads back towards the house. It manages to slide its way under the siding where the frame meets the foundation. All of a sudden it dawns on me that the snake has probably just wiggled its way into my basement. I ran back inside, then downstairs, and sure enough I can see it coming in at the top of the foundation. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Honestly, I was not completely panicking at this point. I was thinking, “you can not let this snake in the basement at all costs.” By now, my MIL has entered into the commotion; she picks up my old, broken watering wand and starts banging in on the wall, all the while screaming at the top of her lungs. IT WORKS. The snake retreats back up into the hole. I run back outside to make sure it has actually exited the house. Nope. It is still in the house. I figure that it must be in the insulation above the foundation. I yelled this through the wall to my MIL who know whacks at the insulation. Immediately the snack shoots out of the house through my legs and out in the yard. Problem solved. BUT, it dawns on me, that this snake knows how to get in my house and thus must die. (I don’t kill snakes . . . they eat all those field mice) My son brings me a hoe and I gave the snake a good whack. It’s dead. It’s not moving. I’m satisfied. Yet, my MIL, who has come out of the basement to make sure I’m killing the snake, starts destroying the snake, and yes, she is still yelling with each strike. I have witnessed overkill.

If your curious, here’s my snake. It was about 3 feet long.

the dead sea

“I don’t want this group to be just another Bible Study,” said the facilitator of the new small group I’m considering joining. “Most of us already receive the Word from multiple sources.”

He’s right.

I study peace-making in Sunday School.

I study Joseph through the Sunday morning series.

I study Jeremiah on every other Thursday.

I have podcasts from John Piper.

I’m reading three different books with different Christian viewpoints.

I study Biblical theology on Sunday afternoons.

I don’t need another Bible study.

I’m reminded of the Dead Sea. Rivers full of minerals flow into the Dead Sea, but nothing flows out of it. The salinity and mineral deposits are so dense that nothing lives, thus the name Dead Sea.

I’m the Dead Sea.

So many pieces of truth are flowing into me, but what is flowing out of me? Am I serving more? Am I loving more? Am I gentler with my sons? Am I meditating and wrestling with the things I don’t understand?

I need accountability.

I need intimate worship with close friends.

I need prayer from a circle of few who truly know me.

I need encouragement.

I need to serve, to love, to give.